Time to Take Control: Be the Boss of Your Life, Family, and Career

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Early on in my career I read "Boss Bitch" by Nicole Lapin. That book? It didn’t just open my eyes—it sparked a fire. It made me realize that being in control of my life wasn’t some lofty dream. It was a choice I had to make. It taught me what it truly means to take control of your life, and it changed everything for me.

You don’t need someone to hand you power to take charge—you claim it. Let me share how I went from reacting to life’s chaos to running the show in my personal life, career, and family.

Embracing the Mindset of Being Your Own Boss

If you want to take control of your life, it starts with your mindset. You can’t control everything—your coworker’s mood, a child’s meltdown, or the unexpected roadblock—but you can control how you respond.

Recognizing Your Role as CEO of Your Life

Think of your life as a company—you’re the CEO. Decisions, direction, and priorities? They’re all on you. CEOs don’t wait for permission; they weigh options, consider risks, and make the call. That’s how I started thinking about my life.

Am I managing my energy as a CEO would their resources, or am I burning out chasing other people’s demands? Am I spending enough “budget” (translation: time and focus) on what truly matters—career growth, quality time with family, and self-care? These questions changed how I prioritized everything.

Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt

Focusing on control is tough because you’re bound to hit mental roadblocks. Fear and imposter syndrome are persistent little gremlins, whispering doubts in your ear. But they’re not the boss—you are. Here’s my strategy:

1. Break the Big Down Into Small
   Don’t try to overhaul your life overnight. Pick one small thing you can control today. Maybe it’s saying no to a meeting that isn’t important, walking outside for ten minutes, or turning off notifications after 6 PM.

2. Celebrate Wins
   Success isn’t built on one big move—it’s a collection of tiny victories. Acknowledge them.

3. Talk Back to Fear
   Whenever fear creeps in, I ask myself: “What’s the worst that could happen? Can I survive it?” Spoiler: You almost always can.

Balancing Career and Family While Taking Control

You know what’s trickier than running a business? Running your life like one and balancing a family. But the beauty of being in charge is that you get to decide how to handle both.

Setting Clear Boundaries

If I’m being honest, boundaries were a hard lesson for me. I used to think saying “yes” made me a team player at work. All it did was make me resentful. Taking control means learning to say no—without guilt.

I set work hours I stick to like glue. Family dinners are sacred. My weekends? Non-negotiably split between quality family time and rest. Sure, emergencies pop up, but clear boundaries make those the exception, not the rule.

Building Support Systems

You can’t do it all alone, and frankly, you shouldn’t. Whether it’s delegating at work or leaning on your partner and family at home, letting others step in is key.

Start small—ask for help. Even better, create a network of people aligned with your goals. Surround yourself with doers, listeners, and honest feedback givers. For me, my support system became the reason I could step into my own power.

How Boss Bitch Shaped My Perspective

Here’s the thing about "Boss Bitch"—it doesn’t just preach empowerment; it gives you tools to make it happen. When I first picked up Nicole Lapin’s book, I was early in my career, feeling stuck and frustrated. It gave me clarity and tangible steps to start steering my life, not just existing in it.

Key Lessons from Boss Bitch

1. Own What You Bring to the Table
   Lapin talks about honing in on your strengths like a weapon. I started focusing on what I do best, instead of comparing myself to others. That was a game-changer.

2. Your Calendar = Your Values
   Nicole taught me this gem: If it’s not on your calendar, it’s not happening. So, I started scheduling time for the stuff that mattered—like focused work sessions and date nights—and ditching things that drained me.

3. Permission Is Overrated
   No one’s going to magically bestow confidence or opportunity upon you. You’ve got to take it.

Applying Lessons to Real-Life Challenges

After reading Boss Bitch, I started applying these lessons immediately. For example, when I realized I was undervaluing myself at work, I negotiated for a promotion that matched my contributions. Was it perfect? No. But progress beats perfect any day.

Taking control of your life doesn’t mean you’ll never feel overwhelmed or stumble. It means you trust yourself to realign when life throws curveballs. For me, hopping into the driver’s seat transformed my career, strengthened my family life, and gave me a level of clarity I didn’t think was possible.

If you’re reading this and feel stuck, let me tell you something—you already have everything you need to take charge. Start small, build momentum, and remember you’re the CEO. So what’s your first boss move going to be? Write it down, put it on your calendar, and go claim your life.

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